Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Douche-onary Part 1

Douchebag :

An individual who has an over-inflated sense of self worth, compounded by a low level of intellegence, behaving ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears.

Jewchebag: a Jewish douchebag.

Goychebag: A non-Jewish douchebag (as referred by a Jew. eg: "did you see McGrady make fun of Cohen's jew-fro? What a nazi goyche-bag."

Gaychebag: A gay douchebag

Feircebag: A fabulous female (or gay male) who is also a massive douchebag

Douche-fuck: A huge screw up made by a douchebag. (eg: McGrady's presentation was a huge douche-fuck. McGrady fails at life.")

Douche-K: A douchebag that hails from the UK. (Also acceptable: Euro-douche, Brit-bag, Douche` [doosh- ay])

Douchette: 1. A female douchebag (Also acceptable:douche-baggette)
2. An obnoxious girlfriend of a douchebag

3 comments:

Shea said...

*laughing and crying*

This is effing hysterical.

Although, I think anyone who uses variations to the word douchebag, is, by definition, a douchebag themselves.

Just saying. :-)

Chris said...

OK. FIrst a technical point. You might want to spell intelligence right...

Also, I have heard "douché" used like "touché." In other words, you use it when somebody you are arguing with makes a really good point, but in an ass-holey way. A real example from my life:

Me: In Peru there were all of these old geezers with hot supermodel wives. It was tempting to fool around with one, but I know a guy who almost got his throat cut that way!

Douchbag: Yeah, but do you really think you could have gotten one?

Me: Douché.

Shea said...

Lol.