All you need is love...

I wanted to talk about the love of my life. My first love, my most passionate love, the only relationship I've ever seen through- that is, of course, me and Theater.

I'll never forget the first time I laid eyes on Theater. I was seven years old and my parents had both been cast in Jesus Christ Superstar.It was their opening night, and the first time my parents had let me come with them rather than get a babysitter. I knew where they were going all those nights. Rehearsal. I mean, I was a little girl- I had no idea what it meant- what the word meant. I just knew that every night from 6-11, my parents went there. But this night was different. I held both of their hands as they led me into the Mesa Amphitheater. It was glorious, like a dream. It was the biggest stage I'd ever seen- and the lights- the set! My parents looked like magical beings up there- they were better than human! I'd been in little recitals and dance shows ever since I could walk, but this was different. I felt like the stars were in my eyes. Nothing had ever made me feel this way before. So excited, so- well, home.

It wasn't that Theater and I didn't have our bumps and bruises along the way. There was all the rejection. In high school, Theater turned me down flat. That hurt, I'll admit. Sometimes so much I laid in bed crying for days. Mostly because I still loved Theater, and I couldn't understand why something I loved with such intensity couldn't love me back- wouldn't love me back.

Then something amazing happened- we clicked. I don't know what happened, it was magic, I guess. That's what they say true love is, don't they? Suddenly everything changed. Theater loved me back- alot! everywhere I went, Theater was declaring it's love for me and I just knew we'd be deliriously happy for the rest of our lives.

But- was it safe? I mean is love really enough? Can you eat love? Will love pay for your lattes when you're living in a three hundred square foot studio apartment in Alphabet City with no cable? Would it always be there, or would it go away again, leaving me alone, jealous and desperate as it had before? Could I really have a husband, a family and the house and the white picket fence with the 2.5 kids and the love of my life? Of course not. That's ridiculous- as everyone pointed out to me, time and time again. So- I thought with my head instead of my heart- and I left my true love.

Theater doesn't take rejection well. I learned this the hard way- like any bad relationship, I simply couldn't leave. I tried, God knows. I went back to school and changed my major to communications, and Theater followed. "Would I choreograph Grease?" Theater asked innocently. "It's harmless! Plus it pays! It will help you get through school." So I numbly followed. Then "Hey- why don't you just audition for this musical you didn't get to choreograph? You've always wanted to be in it. Your friends are in it, it's on campus. It's harmless- besides, you were bored at night anyway." And then it was- "Hey- you know- you're a really good choreographer. You should send your resume out to theaters around the valley. It's harmless, we won't get back together! It's just a job." And then the job came, and with it, the horrible, heart-wrenching, soul crushing "infatuation" with my leading man.

After that heart break, Theater swooped in to pick up the pieces. "Here, just go to these auditions. It will take your mind off of him." and before I knew it, Theater and I were back on again. And we were happy- sort of. I mean, I didn't always like where Theater took me or the people Theater introduced me to, but Theater always, always loved me back, no matter what.

So maybe I can't live on love alone- but I know I can't live without it and I've never loved anything more. So, as it turns out, Theater and I may actually try to make a go of it. Now, someday, I may even get married. You know, actually married to an actual man... Sure, the threesome may be awkward at first. There may be jealousy, my new husband might think I love Theater more (or vice versa), but we'll make it work. Que sera sera. If I've learned anything, it's this: if something puts stars in your eyes, even when you're just a little girl, you should follow it. Always reach for the stars; never stop dreaming.

And there ya go.